Is your glass half empty or half full?
We all have conversations with ourselves (known as self-talk) and these conversations can play a very important role in how we feel, act, and perform. Believe me, the words you tell yourself can directly affect your confidence, energy, satisfaction, and success.
You can ask yourself “Why is this”? Well, that’s because each of us have two voices in our head: a negative one, and a positive one. One of these is useful, and the other one, not that much!
Many of us tend to think more negatively when we encounter mistakes and challenges or little setbacks. Well, the good news is that we can all fix this! Now I am not saying that your negative perspective will magically disappear – but you can work on changing it with some positive self-talk activities and suggestions.
1. Just take a second and think about it. Any behaviour we want to change always begins with “Self-Awareness”. It is difficult to make those changes if you are not aware of how you talk to yourself in the very first place. So, you will need to start to realize the type of things that go through your head on a daily Basis.
So, what I suggest that you do is, at the end of each day take a note pad and pen and write down your performance for the day, such as, how you handled difficult situations, your thoughts about yourself, your reactions to conversations you have had with people and so on.
Now if you do this for a couple of days, you will start to notice that there is a pattern or habit in the way that you talk to yourself.
2. “I CAN DO THIS”. So, let us have a brief look at what positive self-talk is. It is all about giving ourselves uplifting and encouraging statements such as, “I can do this”, “I will give it the best shot I have got”, “My challenges help me to grow”, “I can do anything I put my mind to”. These are just a couple of examples of positive self-talk statements that you could be using when facing challenges.
Just look at some of the statements that you tell yourself when you are performing or when something doesn’t just go the way you planned and write them down on a notepad and you will start to notice that we tend to go to say the same things when something goes wrong or not, and once you know what we call our “go-to” words, you will find it easier for you to make that switch later on.
Now, I would like you to think about some positive statements you would like to say to yourself and write those down on your notepad because you can use this list to boost your confidence and motivation if the going gets tough.
3.Here is how you can start to use this technique. Whenever you notice yourself starting to say things like “I can’t do this” or “I am hopeless” and you begin to focus on past failures, use a word or an image to help you to stay focused and in a more positive state of mind.
I have used the word “STOP” with many clients, getting them to shout it in their own mind as this can help clear the mind and reset it.
If you don’t like this one, you can replace it with a physical cue like snapping your fingers or simply shaking your head, and once the cue has been established you replace the negative self-talk with a positive one.
